How to Write Experience Descriptions That Show Impact
Swapping vague descriptions for outcome-focused language is the single fastest way to improve a LinkedIn profile. Examples and a rewrite formula included.
5 min read
The single fastest way to improve a LinkedIn profile is to rewrite the experience descriptions. Most students describe what they were supposed to do — not what they actually did, and not what resulted from it. This guide gives you a formula, a test, and five before-and-after rewrites to work from.
The core problem
Most experience descriptions read like job adverts: 'Responsible for X, Y and Z.' The problem is that responsible for tells a recruiter what you were hired to do — not what you actually did or how well you did it. A description that only lists responsibilities shows no evidence of action or outcome.
Responsibilities are what you were supposed to do. Achievements are what you actually did. Recruiters are interested in the second, not the first.
The SOAR formula
- –Situation: what was the context? (brief — one phrase is enough)
- –Objective: what were you trying to achieve or contribute to?
- –Action: what specifically did you do? (this is the most important part)
- –Result: what happened? What improved, grew, changed, or was completed?
You do not need to use all four parts every time. But every description should have at least an Action and a Result.
The "so what?" test
After writing any bullet point, ask: 'so what?' If the answer adds something significant, include it. 'Managed social media accounts' — so what? 'Grew Instagram following from 800 to 3,200 over six months' — that is the so what. Include it.
Five before-and-after rewrites
1. Marketing internship
Before:
- –Helped with social media management
- –Assisted the marketing team with various tasks
After:
- –Created and scheduled social media content across Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter, growing combined following by 22% over three months
- –Produced weekly performance reports using Google Analytics, identifying a content format that outperformed the average post engagement by 3x
2. Retail role
Before:
- –Served customers and operated the till
- –Kept the shop tidy
After:
- –Managed customer queries and transactions in a high-footfall retail environment serving 150+ customers per shift
- –Trained three new colleagues on product knowledge, customer service standards, and POS systems during a peak trading period
3. Society committee role
Before:
- –Organised events for the Drama Society
- –Managed the social media
After:
- –Planned and executed 10 events across the academic year for a 150-member society, including the annual showcase performance which sold out for the first time in four years
- –Doubled the society's Instagram engagement over two terms through a consistent content schedule and an audience growth campaign
4. Volunteering
Before:
- –Volunteered at a local food bank
- –Helped sort donations
After:
- –Volunteered weekly at a local food bank, processing and sorting donations for distribution to approximately 200 households per week
- –Took on coordination responsibilities after three months, managing a team of six volunteers during Saturday shifts
5. Placement year
Before:
- –Worked in the communications team
- –Helped with internal and external communications
After:
- –Joined the communications team as a placement student, taking ownership of the monthly internal newsletter distributed to 400+ employees
- –Redesigned the newsletter format, increasing open rate from 34% to 51% over four months
- –Drafted press releases and social media content for three product launches, coordinating approvals across three departments
💡 Strong verbs to start each bullet
Led, managed, created, designed, built, delivered, grew, increased, reduced, coordinated, developed, launched, trained, negotiated, implemented, analysed, produced, organised, presented, secured. Each of these communicates action and capability — 'responsible for' and 'helped with' do not.
For specific guidance on framing part-time or hospitality work so employers see the value, read How to Frame Part-Time Work on Your LinkedIn Profile at /resources/part-time-job-framing.
For a framework to describe society or sports club roles with the language employers are looking for, read Turning Society Leadership Into Career Evidence at /resources/society-leadership.
Next step
Get your experience descriptions reviewedA Profile Polish reviewer will give you specific rewrites and feedback on your most important experience entries.
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